my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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