hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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