She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My vagina just recognized that song.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
