Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize