I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Damn victory sex feels great
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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