they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
