Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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