I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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