I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
