I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize