Will you blow on my dice?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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