Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
