How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
