You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
