I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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