I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize