How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
