this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
