Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
They have beer where we have blood.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
