we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize