I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
