Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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