It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A bitchslap is in order.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize