Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
