i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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