If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
