Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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