Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
