i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
