We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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