Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i drank out of a bidet.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
