3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honey bunches of taint.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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