i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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