Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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