Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
