His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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