Ambien. No doubt about it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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