So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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