what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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