Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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