PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
