Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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