You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
