he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
