Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
