I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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