dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
