Welp...herpes.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
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I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
These tits shall not be calmed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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