Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, beer. Big fan.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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