We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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