he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
