Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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