While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
