Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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