it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
