with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
