I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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